SUMMER FUN TIME & Strategies to limit screens
We made it. Barely. By the skin of our teeth. Summer is here, my garden is growing, and my armpits are sweaty. I, once again, did not lose 30 lbs over the winter (ha!).The sunshine and warm weather have inspired so many rushing thoughts and feelings that I can hardly keep a focus. I’ve spent the last year in a suspended state of disbelief and paralyzation as we faced an unprecedented global pandemic, but now I am vaccinated. Most of my friends and family are vaccinated. I can see a light at the end of all this and at least some inkling of a return to normal, although I’m not sure “pre pandemic” normal is ever possible again (but that’s another blog post) My mind has erupted in a frenzy of ideas for adventures and outdoor activities. However, I know myself and if I don’t have a plan in place and resources to refer to, I will wake up each day confused about where to start and what to do. My kids will start demanding things, whining unrelentingly and before I know it I will throw up my hands and say “Fine. Go play your video games and leave me in peace!”
When I was a kid screens weren’t a thing. I lived on a farm wayyy out in the Indiana countryside. In the summer my mom shoved us out the door in the morning and we ran around in the back woods totally unsupervised (the horror!) all day. We lived so far out we barely had any TV channels anyway. My sister, brother and I made mud pies, swam and fished in a dirty pond, hunted for frogs and played out a myriad of imaginary fantasy’s involving wild wolves, damsels in distress, evil witches, and heroic saviors. Of course, a whole lot lot the time we were bored out of our minds, too. My adult self, probably romanticizes the outdoor part of my childhood a bit much. As I am quite sure we bickered, complained, cried and whined a lot too. Even though that was my reality as a kid, it’s nearly impossible to imagine raising kids in that kind of environment today without deciding to entirely drop out of modern life and live off the grid.
The internet has obviously changed how kids and adults alike manage boredom and pass time. For better or worse, screens are here to stay. I confess our family’s screen time has been a bit out of control lately and I am hoping that summer gives us a chance to re-set some habits. I know without some intentional planning and external prompts we will fall into a pattern of using screens to pass the time. Screen time is something, as a society, we are all trying to figure out together. Humans are still adjusting to this monumental paradigm shift. I’ve accepted that our family will ebb and flow with it. I know there will be times when my kids get far toooo much screen time and hopefully there will also be times when our screen time is more regulated (this can happen, right?!).
To help keep myself focused I’ve started to keep a handy list of activities that I can pull off without a myriad of supplies or money. However, my own screen dependent kids are at times pretty resistant to A LOT of activities that I propose. ( I, mean, I am a child therapist not a magician! ) They can both pitch a fit about going outside and, honestly, about doing absolutely everything except watching TV and playing video games. I try to mitigate negative reactions to change by providing the boys some options and preparing them in advance of changes to our routine. I’ve found that having visual representation of expectations either in the form of a chart or worksheet helps them understand it. Kids don’t have a ton of choices about a lot of things in their lives, so it can be useful and empowering to include them in the planning and execution of new expectations. As parents, it’s important to make sure to keep the expectation clear: If kids want screen time they have to earn it by completing some basic chores and by participating in some non-screen related activities first. It’s important to communicate clearly, give them advance notice, and stay steady in the execution of stated expectations.
Is this always easy? No. Sometime, as parents we have to ignore a lot of undesirable behaviors to secure participation. We have to take deep breaths and not engage in power struggles. When one of them is having a tough time, we have to validate feelings and regulate our own feelings in response. We have to swallow our frustrations and stay focused on the outcome. We have to be flexible about it, too ( I guess we are magicians after all!)
I think we all like to be outside playing and engaging with the wild, natural world. It just takes some effort and planning to get there.
Summer Screen Time Rules printable
SUMMER FUN THINGS:
