Child Development 101
When we think of developmental milestones after a child is born, we think about when did they first walk? Or say their first word? While these are important, child development is much more complex and important to understand than you may realize.
When I started working with children, something one of my older and much wiser colleagues said to me was, “If you are going to work with children, you need to have at least a basic understanding of child development.” As the years have progressed, I never knew how many times I would circle back to that statement.
As I’ve observed other adults, coworkers and even my own family, I realize that while we often say we want kids to be kids, but sometimes we really just want them to act like adults. All while still being cute and adorable. However (spoiler alert!) their brains aren’t capable of such things. An example of this is when we ask a child a question. Sometimes we expect an automatic response, when in fact, children take much longer to process a question and give an answer than an adult brain. Children also struggle with questions that are “stacked” meaning asking two questions at once before they can process the first question. Perhaps if you are asking your child a serious (or impatient!) question, take a moment before questioning them again and just sit in the silence for a moment while they think.
It takes years for children to master social/emotional skills and regulation of feelings. And if the child has any history of trauma or upset in development, it can take even longer. In order for children to establish healthy relationships with peers or partners, this type of interaction needs to be modeled appropriately by the adults in their life. Do your children see you socializing with others? Displaying a random act of kindness? Managing conflict appropriately? A child’s brain models what they see and the ability to empathize and care for others comes with time and growth. There may be one or two (or a million) tantrums in there, but that is all the body’s way of “figuring it out.”
Entire books have been written on this subject, so this tiny little blog really cannot do this topic justice. But I encourage you all to dig deeper into this in your own life whether you are a parent, work with a child or just know a child in general! Having that “basic understanding,” can lead to more enjoyable interactions with children when your expectations are realistic.
